Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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