Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
