i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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