Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
