should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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