Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
