you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
