Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
