Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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