Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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