eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
