I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
