New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
