another moral hangover. fuck.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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