You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
