this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
