Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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