I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
