Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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