Where did you get a picture of my penis
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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