I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
