do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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