and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
