u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
