check it out our google latitudes are spooning
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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