I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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