I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
