ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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