BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
