i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
