I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
