A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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