dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize