Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
