You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm passing your future prison.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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