After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
