He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
