i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
