so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
