Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
