Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
