it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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