Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I touched a dick in church today
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
