I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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