physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
