My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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