You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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