How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
