Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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