it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
